I have a mentor. I’m not sure if he knows it. But he is my mentor. We don’t live close by, but I have learned so much from him. There are three admirably qualities that I have found in him that I would like to replicate more of in my own life, here they are:
I have found that giving is freeing. I have found that the act of giving is muscle that I can train. The more I work on it, the more I see oppurtunities to give and help others.
Why is giving important?
Giving is freeing.
I have personally found that the more I give, of my time, money and even knowledge. The more happier I become. There is also a strong sense of selfishness that tightens around you the more you say no to an oppurtunity to give.
Should you say “yes” to every single oppurtunity or person in need. Probably not. But, if we’re honest with ourselves – we can do much more.
Giving a couple of bucks to someone in need, generously tipping a hard-working server or even donating a little to charity won’t bankrupt you. Far from it. If you try, you’ll notice that it fills you with joy. It frees us of our self-centered motives and makes us happier.
Give someone the benefit of the doubt.
I want to practice to give people the benefit of the doubt. Often, you hear about a situation that involves someone. Perhaps, the person has failed to show up for work for a few days.
Maybe you have a strong case to believe someone has misplaced or even stolen something from you. Give that person the benefit of the doubt. What is the worsecase scenario? You might be wrong and the person is a total – jerk.
So what? You treated that person fairly and humanly. You can hold your head up high. Also, having suspicions over someone based on “facts” makes you feel heavy and weighed down.
Besides, no matter how much we would like to believe, we almost never have all the facts to properly decide the motives, intents and circumstances that person is in or comes from – even if they are a jerk.
Avoid judging. Give the person the benfit of the doubt.
Save time. Spend money (wisely)
Use your money to streamline and enjoy your life. Be sure to use your money wisely though! But if you can save a bunch of effort, time and energy by paying someone a bit to mow the lawn (or any other meanial task), go for it!
You might spend $20 but you could potentially save yourself from a couple of hours under the sun – doing something else instead.Plus, paying someone to help make your life a little bit better is helping them too!
Be sure to also spend your money on things you enjoy. I don’t do this enough for a couple of reasons. But what I have learned is that life is short and if you are working hard for your money, then you should be spending at least some of it on the things, experiences and people you love.
These are just some of the things that I want to work more on. Some of these attributes can be pretty difficult to change. Especially if life has beat you down before.
A few years ago, I lost my job. Right at a really, really important time – weeks before my wedding.
I was in a situation where I felt I wanted to do what was right someone at work needed to be confronted – my boss. He was acting very inappropriately and needed to be spoken with.
My self-procliamed noble efforts came at a cost. I lost my job.
After that, I felt like I hardened up a bit. To the world and the people in it. I felt like I should care less because the world doesn’t always play by the same rules you’re playing by.
Fast forward a few years and looking back, I wish I had been more merciful, generous and open in the time that followed my unfair dismissal. Being miserable and having a chip on my shoulder didn’t help anyone – let alone myself.
That’s why I want to practice the three values above. I really believe that even when I was down in the dumps like I was a few years back, I would have been much, much happier if I did what my mentor does.